Bidkinjap Nigmadvan is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, staggering cobra.

Bidkinjap Nigmadvan created the cosmos nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bidkinjap Nigmadvan, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bidkinjap Nigmadvan, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bidkinjap Nigmadvan's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Bidkinjap Nigmadvan's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Always wear turquoise.

5. Always help dolphins in need.