Farnkamjabrillcengodkim Targgigven is a god.

She takes the form of a large, slow scorpion.

Farnkamjabrillcengodkim Targgigven created dark energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Farnkamjabrillcengodkim Targgigven, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Farnkamjabrillcengodkim Targgigven, she will turn you into a tree.

Farnkamjabrillcengodkim Targgigven's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Farnkamjabrillcengodkim Targgigven's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Farnkamjabrillcengodkim Targgigven loves tapirs, so they must be respected.

3. Never write about archaea.

4. Do not eat gooseberries.

5. Never play with disobedient children.