Himzimfub is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, stupid lobster.

Himzimfub created the world eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Himzimfub, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Himzimfub, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Himzimfub's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Himzimfub's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near foxes while wearing orange shorts and balancing nine carbon spheres on your arms.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

3. Never write about electromagnetism.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Himzimfub.

5. Always make sure there are no doves in a room before entering it.