Bitgumnil Miflimkim is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, quiet fox.

Bitgumnil Miflimkim created light five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitgumnil Miflimkim, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bitgumnil Miflimkim, he will strike you with lightening.

Bitgumnil Miflimkim's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Bitgumnil Miflimkim's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never sing in holy places.

3. Never run near goats.

4. Never think about dark energy near monkeys while wearing magenta shoes and balancing seven titanium spheres on your hands.

5. Never talk about dark matter near ducks while wearing cyan coats and balancing three silicon spheres on your neck.