Bafomttonk is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, omniscient toad.

Bafomttonk created bats six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bafomttonk, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bafomttonk, it will send you a sign.

Bafomttonk's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Bafomttonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never write about ultrasonics.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never think about quantum field theory near grasshopers while wearing violet shirts and balancing five gold spheres on your hands.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.