Jonlabspag is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, kind cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Jonlabspag created the Sun two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonlabspag, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jonlabspag, he will try to impress you with trees.

Jonlabspag's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Jonlabspag's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Hide from blue frogs for they are unholy.