Pakmadcid is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, staggering tapir.

Pakmadcid created the planet Saturn eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pakmadcid, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Pakmadcid, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Pakmadcid's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Pakmadcid's Holy Commandments

1. Always help doves in need.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pakmadcid.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never wear fawn stockings.

5. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Pakmadcid in the centre of the settlement.