Kanhakbad is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, flying hyena.

Kanhakbad created a down quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Kanhakbad, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Kanhakbad, it will turn you into a plant.

Kanhakbad's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Kanhakbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed gooseberries to mice while wearing tights.

2. Always wear purple.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not speak about apples.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Kanhakbad on top of all buildings.