Lopsogbit is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, dishonourable mole.

Lopsogbit created Africa four million years ago.

If you believe in Lopsogbit, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lopsogbit, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Lopsogbit's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Lopsogbit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not stand on grass.