Panhomsan is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, omnipotent goblin.

Panhomsan created a photon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Panhomsan, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Panhomsan, it will turn you into a goat.

Panhomsan's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Panhomsan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Panhomsan's name in vain.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Always treat capybaras with great respect.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Panhomsan.

5. Do not trade with those who eat limes.