Habvinpadmetteenquilltofvad is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, vain weasel.

Habvinpadmetteenquilltofvad created a charm quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Habvinpadmetteenquilltofvad, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Habvinpadmetteenquilltofvad, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Habvinpadmetteenquilltofvad's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Habvinpadmetteenquilltofvad's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not dye your hair indigo.

4. Never feed nuts to snails while wearing dresses.

5. Do not listen to music.