Loop is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, generous yak.

Loop created Europe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Loop, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Loop, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Loop's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Loop's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Loop seven times a day.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Always treat birds with great respect.

4. Worship no other gods but Loop.

5. Never feed figs to sharks while wearing shirts.