Arfquillvonk is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, kind fox.

Arfquillvonk created Mount Everest seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfquillvonk, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Arfquillvonk, she will throw large rocks at you.

Arfquillvonk's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Arfquillvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Always help whales.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never go into magenta rooms.

5. Never think about bacteria.