Danpagpag is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, annoying spider.

Danpagpag created the Large Magellanic Cloud six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Danpagpag, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Danpagpag, she will turn you into a tree.

Danpagpag's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Danpagpag's Holy Commandments

1. Danpagpag loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never think about special relativity near rats while wearing magenta corsets and balancing five nickel spheres on your chest.

4. Never mention geese.

5. Erect a large tin sculpture of Danpagpag on top of all buildings.