Tikgabjop is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, humorless snake.

Tikgabjop created Mount Everest three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tikgabjop, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tikgabjop, she will turn you into a rat.

Tikgabjop's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Tikgabjop's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate horses.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.