Flanbap is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, charitable octopus.

Flanbap created Africa five million years ago.

If you believe in Flanbap, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flanbap, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Flanbap's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Flanbap's Holy Commandments

1. Flanbap loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

2. Never go into blue rooms.

3. Put Flanbap first in all things.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never feed carrots to moths while wearing shorts.