Dagfungunbun is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, staggering weasel.

Dagfungunbun created humanity eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dagfungunbun, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dagfungunbun, he will be very unhappy.

Dagfungunbun's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Dagfungunbun's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in the presence of otters.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

3. Do not wear carbon on your body.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never mention turtles.