Latrultaltomcemnartfudhan Tailvogzag is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, merciful troll.

Latrultaltomcemnartfudhan Tailvogzag created the Sol system nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Latrultaltomcemnartfudhan Tailvogzag, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Latrultaltomcemnartfudhan Tailvogzag, she will cry a lot.

Latrultaltomcemnartfudhan Tailvogzag's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Latrultaltomcemnartfudhan Tailvogzag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near tortoises while wearing cyan skirts and balancing eight gold spheres on your arms.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never mention eagles.

5. Never wear yellow dresses.