Flatbegkop is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, ill-tempered jaguar.

Flatbegkop created the cosmos five million years ago.

If you believe in Flatbegkop, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Flatbegkop, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Flatbegkop's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Flatbegkop's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dogs.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never mention manatees.

4. Never feed tomatoes to sheep while wearing yellow hats.

5. Do not listen to music.