Lagarfben is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, compassionate camel.

Lagarfben created a Higgs boson four years ago.

If you believe in Lagarfben, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Lagarfben, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Lagarfben's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Lagarfben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Learn five new languages a year.

3. Never wear red boots.

4. Never go into fawn rooms.

5. Never mention doves.