Bag is a god.

He takes the form of a small, boastful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bag created the planet Earth nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bag, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bag, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Bag's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Bag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear white clothing.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always help sick seals.

5. Never talk about cell theory.