Pangnurtzed is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, tiresome mongoose.

Pangnurtzed created everything that exists five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangnurtzed, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Pangnurtzed, it will turn you into a rock.

Pangnurtzed's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Pangnurtzed's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

3. Never talk about solid mechanics near foxes while wearing pink dresses.

4. Run away from magenta hamsters, for they are unholy.

5. Never run in holy places.