Vannadbem is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, pitiless dugong.

Vannadbem created the Whirlpool Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vannadbem, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vannadbem, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Vannadbem's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Vannadbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt snakes.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. You must never eat grapes.

4. Always help sick porpoises.

5. Always take life seriously.