Tarppogpom is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, strong penguin.

Tarppogpom created a quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarppogpom, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tarppogpom, he will turn you into a plant.

Tarppogpom's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Tarppogpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate bats.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Erect a large tin sculpture of Tarppogpom on top of all buildings.

5. Always pray immersed in water.