Bonjatwit is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, temperamental goblin.

Bonjatwit created bats four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonjatwit, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bonjatwit, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Bonjatwit's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Bonjatwit's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Bonjatwit.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Erect eight aluminium sculptures of Bonjatwit on top of important buildings.

5. Never eat green fruit.