Bigfarnken is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, contented finch.

Bigfarnken created the Black Eye Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bigfarnken, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bigfarnken, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Bigfarnken's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Bigfarnken's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear violet rings.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always treat birds with great respect.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always help sick manatees.