Tik is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, overgenerous yak.

Tik created bats three million years ago.

If you believe in Tik, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tik, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tik's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Tik's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into yellow rooms.

2. Erect eight iron sculptures of Tik on top of important buildings.

3. Never paint your face blue.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.