Jinxuckgad is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, idiotic dog.

Jinxuckgad created vertebrates three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jinxuckgad, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jinxuckgad, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Jinxuckgad's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Jinxuckgad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Hide from cyan foxes for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about optics near frogs while wearing pink shorts and balancing five carbon spheres on your back.

4. Never paint your feet red.

5. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.