Batkipwig is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, all-powerful chinchilla.

Batkipwig created the solar system five billion years ago.

If you believe in Batkipwig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Batkipwig, he will make you grow a tail.

Batkipwig's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Batkipwig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help porpoises.

2. Always obey Batkipwig's priests.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Always take life seriously.