Bansigtin is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, slow cow.

Bansigtin created Europe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bansigtin, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bansigtin, it will think nothing of it.

Bansigtin's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Bansigtin's Holy Commandments

1. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

2. Do not take Bansigtin's name in vain.

3. Bansigtin loves doves, so they must be honoured.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not drink alcohol.