Dodpigjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, egotistical hydra.

Dodpigjarn created everything that exists eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dodpigjarn, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dodpigjarn, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Dodpigjarn's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Dodpigjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never talk about sheep.

3. Never hop in holy places.

4. Never think ill of sick great tits.

5. Do not eat beans.