Getyarptap is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, competent capybara.

Getyarptap created a strange quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Getyarptap, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Getyarptap, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Getyarptap's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Getyarptap's Holy Commandments

1. Getyarptap loves frogs, so they must be honoured.

2. Feed all hungry dolphins.

3. Never think about spacetime near seals while wearing purple dresses and balancing three copper spheres on your hands.

4. Run away if five geese approach from the south.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Getyarptap.