Vagpitgat is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, dishonest tapir.

Vagpitgat created the Large Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Vagpitgat, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vagpitgat, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Vagpitgat's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Vagpitgat's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate mites.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Hide from turquoise tortoises for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.