Yarpzoggun is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, unthoughtful toad.

Yarpzoggun created oxygen five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpzoggun, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yarpzoggun, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Yarpzoggun's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Yarpzoggun's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Yarpzoggun loves sheep, so they must be honoured.

4. Hide if seven eagles approach from the north.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.