Artbepyatt is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, compassionate hyena.

Artbepyatt created the planet Saturn five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Artbepyatt, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Artbepyatt, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Artbepyatt's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Artbepyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

2. Never talk about quantum gravity near nematodes while wearing mauve scarves.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Artbepyatt.