Bonkarpwot is a god.

It takes the form of a small, self-assured spider.

Bonkarpwot created a bottom quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkarpwot, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bonkarpwot, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Bonkarpwot's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Bonkarpwot's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no badgers in a building before entering it.

2. Never think about comets.

3. Never think about chromosomes.

4. Never feed lots of tomatoes to tortoises while wearing cyan tights.

5. Never go into black rooms.