Yattdoblap is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, cheerful shark.

Yattdoblap created an atom five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yattdoblap, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yattdoblap, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Yattdoblap's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Yattdoblap's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never skip in holy places.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Yattdoblap on top of all buildings.

4. Always look after injured dolphins.

5. Never write about photosynthesis.