Wikwotnel is a god.

She takes the form of a small, boastful hummingbird.

Wikwotnel created vertebrates three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wikwotnel, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wikwotnel, she will remove you from existence.

Wikwotnel's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Wikwotnel's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven porpoises approach from the north.

2. Always treat snails with great respect.

3. Never talk about spacetime near turtles while wearing turquoise skirts and balancing nine copper spheres on your feet.

4. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

5. Fast once a month.