Hivcamart is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, two-faced eagle.

Hivcamart created Africa nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivcamart, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hivcamart, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Hivcamart's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Hivcamart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not speak about aubergines.

5. Never hurt squirrels.