Tikfidsawtom is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, bad-tempered penguin.

Tikfidsawtom created the Cigar Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tikfidsawtom, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Tikfidsawtom, she will be mildly annoyed.

Tikfidsawtom's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Tikfidsawtom's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat ants with great respect.

2. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Worship no other gods but Tikfidsawtom.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tikfidsawtom.