Zodnelvolrow is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-knowing spider.

Zodnelvolrow created gold six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zodnelvolrow, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Zodnelvolrow, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Zodnelvolrow's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Zodnelvolrow's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed rice to sheep while wearing tights.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Never hurt snakes.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.