Witbanfum Fumvanstiknurl is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, calm jellyfish.

Witbanfum Fumvanstiknurl created an atom four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Witbanfum Fumvanstiknurl, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Witbanfum Fumvanstiknurl, it will think nothing of it.

Witbanfum Fumvanstiknurl's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Witbanfum Fumvanstiknurl's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Witbanfum Fumvanstiknurl must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near turtles while wearing pink hats and balancing eight titanium spheres on your feet.

5. Never wear dresses.