Ganlogbed is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, quiet fish.

Ganlogbed created dark matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganlogbed, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ganlogbed, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Ganlogbed's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Ganlogbed's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into red rooms.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near dogs while wearing purple boots and balancing nine silicon spheres on your arms.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never hurt swans.