Japzimarp is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, flying hedgehog.

Japzimarp created bats two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japzimarp, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Japzimarp, she will turn you into a goat.

Japzimarp's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Japzimarp's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate goats.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never feed nuts to tortoises while wearing shorts.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.