Komhivrul is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, humane crane.

Komhivrul created the cosmos three billion years ago.

If you believe in Komhivrul, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Komhivrul, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Komhivrul's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Komhivrul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt pigs.

2. Never hop near gulls.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never talk about spacetime near porpoises while wearing orange rings and balancing nine gold spheres on your legs.