Kopbastbimhinvinquim is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, dishonourable meerkat.

Kopbastbimhinvinquim created the Cigar Galaxy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kopbastbimhinvinquim, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kopbastbimhinvinquim, he will turn you into a rock.

Kopbastbimhinvinquim's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Kopbastbimhinvinquim's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not kill eagles.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Never sing near sheep.

5. Never eat parsnips.