Lunwonjam is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, selfish camel.

Lunwonjam created a bottom quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Lunwonjam, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Lunwonjam, it will make you grow a tail.

Lunwonjam's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Lunwonjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near snakes while wearing green kilts and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your head.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always help porpoises in need.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always wear blue.