Tettiwodrul is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, kind deer.

Tettiwodrul created life eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Tettiwodrul, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tettiwodrul, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Tettiwodrul's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Tettiwodrul's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never think ill of sick badgers.

3. Do not wear silver on your body.

4. Always help tapirs.

5. Never think about spacetime near moths while wearing white jumpers and balancing three nickel spheres on your neck.