Hubpogpag is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, emotional crow.

Hubpogpag created life three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hubpogpag, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hubpogpag, he will turn you into a snail.

Hubpogpag's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Hubpogpag's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Hubpogpag.

2. Never go into mauve rooms.

3. Never think about dwarf planets.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never sing near tortoises.