Kikdavmil is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, idiotic ferret.

Kikdavmil created a Higgs boson eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kikdavmil, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kikdavmil, he will turn you into a rat.

Kikdavmil's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Kikdavmil's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Kikdavmil loves snails, so they must be respected.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never eat bark.